Week one down, 51 to go…

11 01 2010

Last year ended wrapped in emergency work, old friends, a new boy, an amazing dinner, a dive bar, and resolutions… This year has just started, and I have barely managed to get through the days. An insane work schedule, wishes of being somewhere else, late night goodbyes soaked in beer, trip planning to spend time together, and Sophie getting horribly sick… But I am taking it all in, the good with the busy, the sweet with the friday night emergency room visits, the distance with the late phone calls, the hangovers with the morning breakfast. And I am sticking to my resolutions, taking more pictures, being a better friend, letting go of fears, exploring my feelings, enjoying the little things. Because in the end, that is what it is all about, the little things, the foreign songs finally translated, the text messages to keep in touch, the emails asking for my advice, the conversations over lunch about relationships, the two year old boy who stole my heart and my cookies, walking through Santa Monica holding hands, the memories that we share, the stories of friends reunited again, the late night pizza, the tears, the constant wishing that he was here for one more day.

I spent time with some amazing people, I got closer to others, and I fell in love with my Polaroid all over again. I shared secrets, ideas, cigarettes, and stories, and I saw myself as a stronger, wiser person, as one that can take on anything, one that understands her limitations, one that constantly fights against them. I opened up to the possibility of uncertainty, and for the first time, slowly eased into it, replacing the anxiety of the unknown with the quite whispers of the sunsets. Breathing in the serenity of not wanting to have it all, right now. Understanding that the process is as necessary as the end result, and enjoying every minute for what it is, without having to ask what will come next.





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